


Because of tomorrow, not today

by kartofelWbucie



Category: The Closer
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:38:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3805642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kartofelWbucie/pseuds/kartofelWbucie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, they met 25 years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I'm little nervous because this is my first story ever. English is not my mother language so I would like to apologise for all mistakes in advance (for many of them ;/).
> 
> I decided to share with you my writing because there aren't many Brenda/Sharon fics lately. I hope even bad Sharenda is better then nothing...
> 
> That was not beta read, simply because I don't know how it works here.  
> Some facts and characters are historical (or still exists), feel free to guess which one ;)  
> Ok, that's all.  
> And I don't own any of characters if you wonder ;p

It was too long, Brenda was teasing her like for hours or at least for Sharon it was like hours. First with her lips, now with fingers. Sharon gasped, Brenda's posture moving above her was so damn real, her fingers in Brenda were so damn real, Brenda's fingers in her... “Brenda...” she whispered and unceremoniously grabbed blonde ass cheek with her left hand and dug nails in it. Brenda leaned and settled kisses first on brunette's chest, then on her neck, sucking pulse point. Their lips crushed hard. With the kiss Sharon speeded her fingers and blonde almost forgot how to breath. But second later blonde withdrew her fingers and then trusted them back with much force she intended. However that was exactly what Sharon needed, so Brenda repeated the action. Sharon come but her fingers didn't stop trusting Brenda and when her palm finally, _finally_ hit blonde clit Brenda sucked air hard. After three or four strokes like that Brenda come too with Sharon's name on her lips. Brenda collapsed on the other woman. The only sounds in the room were their heavy breaths until Sharon broke the silence  
“I hope this time you won't disappear for twenty-five years.”

 

* * *  
_February 1989, Moscow_

“Be aware, in a moment you will see the most beautiful woman.” Donald whispered to her ear just when the couple entered the room. Brenda hold her breath, the woman was true beauty. She had one shoulder red dress, the colour perfectly combined to her cool skin tone. The dress was long and straight but with quite high slit and some gathers just under her breast. She had gold jeweller. Brenda preferred silver but on this woman it looked more than good, earrings stood out from chocolate hair simply falling with waves on her shoulders and till the middle of her back. Opposite to other woman in the room she had light make up though Brenda doubted if the woman needed any. She had gorgeous face, Brenda couldn’t tell what made her so beautiful, it was very symmetrical for sure and definitely the one you never forget.  
“Wow, you weren't kidding...” the redhead answered with eyes still focused on a woman in the center of the room. Donald only smiled and pulled her closer to himself with a hand around her waist.  
There was silence in the room though there were about forty people in it. Someone cleaned throat and only then Brenda realized that by woman's side, holding her hand, there was her husband and it was him who was going to speak. He waited till waitresses offered champagne to each guest. When the handsome man made sure every one had a glass he raised his and said  
“I don't like long speeches, so I would like only to thank each of you, to be here today. It's an honour for me to celebrate birthday with my closest and dearest friends and family. Dear guests-”  
He stopped and smile a little “enjoy yourself tonight!”  
He ended and the room was filled with applause and cheers. The couple in the centre clinked glasses, took small sip and kissed lightly, with that gentle music started announcing the beginning of party.

Ambassador and his wife were doing the round in the room, having small talk with each guest and they were just approaching Brenda and Donald. Brenda took another glass of wine to encourage herself. Her first meeting with the ambassador... and _this woman_. They were just about to them when some man put hand on ambassador shoulder and told him something Brenda couldn't here. Ambassador lined to whisper something to his wife ear, she nodded only and the two man left her on her own.

“Donald, it's so nice to see you. Thanks for coming. And sorry for Jack, some official business.” brunette kissed him three times in a cheeks and nodded only to Brenda. Redhead smiled back and waited to present herself just when ambassadress spoke again to Donald ignoring Brenda completely “Seriously Donald, isn't she to young for you? Is she even of age?”  
The man was about to speak but this time in was Brenda who interrupted “I can assure I'm old enough to be here... and to drink wine too.” Brenda said with two sweet voice.  
“Oh..., I am so sorry.” brunette was really embarrassed. “I assumed you must be Russian. Like the rest of pretty and young girls in the room.” she added with some sadness, looking around the room.  
“Except you two.” Donald pointed between both of them with his finger and flirtatiously smiled. Both ashamed a little but instead dropping their eyes they locket sights. Only then Brenda noticed how green are the other woman eyes.  
“So... real American, aren't you?”  
“Yes, ma'am” Brenda answered with her best smile, not fake this time.  
Brunette giggled a little “Now I feel so old.” she turned to Donald because he was showing her something.  
“I think your husband is calling you.”  
The woman turned behind and noticed ambassador waving to her for coming. She turned back to them “I'm sorry, I have to go but I'll talk to you later.” and with that she went off.

It wasn't long for Donald to excuse himself telling it was work and joining the table with obese men, smoking one cigarette after another. Brenda wasn't angry really, she understood but she was bored now. She would rather join those men with Donald then reject one by one man standing near the food. She was hungry now but every time she had a bite someone approached her and asked all the same questions. _What's your name? Why are you alone?_ And if she wants to dance. Some had a cheek to ask her how much she took. She rejected (very politely) the first three of them but with others she just pretended she didn't know English. Filling her stomach with some healthy food (which for Brenda meant not sweets) she decided to make it to desserts. Buffet was full and Brenda's eyes sparkled. Even when her stomach was full she always had extra space for desserts, like always. She just couldn’t decide with which one should she start. She reached out for a piece of some black cake with yellow cream, decorated with lemons.  
“Take chocolate muffins. They added too much butter to the feeling of these cakes.” Brenda knew exactly whose voice was whispering and she shivered under these voice, under this breath on her neck and the perfumes... _What the hell?_ Still not looking around she grabbed two recommended muffins. She really wondered why she was doing this. She liked cakes with cream much better than muffins, even if they had too much butter. Very slowly Brenda turned to the woman standing next to her.  
“I would like to apologies for the first impression.” ambassadress smiled “I didn't even presented myself, Sharon Matlock, I'm the wife of ambassador, Jack Matlock”  
_That is rather obvious._ Brenda thought, but put her best behavior and said “Alice Foley, nobody's wife and definitely not Donald's.” Sharon laughed at that statement.  
_Did she really made that elegant and sophisticated woman laugh with such a silly comment?_ Brenda wanted to roll her eyes but that would be inappropriate. They shook hands.  
“Would you like one?” Brenda asked raising plate with muffins a little.  
“No, no thank you...” Sharon answered like she wanted to add something more but resigned, instead she put her right hand on stomach just for a second or two. Brenda understood she didn't feel well. “I had too much already.” Sharon said with a light smile. “May I ask what Alice Foley is doing in the USSR?”  
“I'm a journalist.” Brenda answered and sunk her teeth in cake. “The journalist...” Sharon repeated and took a better look on Brenda “I suppose you've just graduated.”  
“Two weeks ago to be precise. I was lucky Donald took me job here. To tell you the truth I come here only yesterday.” Half of the cake was gone.  
“You and Donald...” Sharon paused and looked questioningly at Brenda.  
“He's an old friend of my parents, he invited me here today as his companion.” Brenda explained and ate the other half with one bate.  
“So you are not together?” redhead only shook her head still chewing. “I didn't really supposed you come back to talk. I thought ambassadress just have to say like, 'I'll talk to you later', to everyone.” Brenda wanted to fill the awkward silence between them. For sure that woman was better companion than every single man in the room but she had no idea what to talk about with her.  
“It's true... for the most of the guest...” Sharon smiled and Brenda noticed also perfectly white and perfectly straight teeth contrasted with full lips covered with deep red shade of lipstick.  
Brenda always ended up with lipstick smudged across her face and some of it on her teeth but this woman had total control over the cosmetic. Nothing protruded from her lips, nothing smudged or eaten. Brenda wondered if this comes with age or one is born with this ability. Only later she learned that lipsticks are not for everyone, not for her at least. No more thinking about lipstick and full lips. She had conversations with the first American person here (except Donald, but he doesn't count) and it was really nice talk after first ice breaking. She thought she would be nervous, she would forget some details of her life, but nothing like this happened. Maybe the woman was easy to talk or maybe Brenda was a born liar, or she was well trained...  
Brenda was a real sweet tooth however she has never been a fan of chocolate really. But she had to admit those muffins were really good. The conversation lasted and Brenda realized both chocolate muffins were gone. And she still wanted more chocolate. If the other woman wasn't there she would have taken third cake. Somehow she wanted more and more chocolate, not sugar but chocolate. Little did she know that for the next thirty years every bite of chocolate will remind her about Sharon...

She was answering another questions and asking politely some too when Sharon surprised her. “Would you like to meet sometimes, I can show you the town, we can talk more?”  
_Yes, yes, yes, that's the opportunity you can't miss!_ “Why not, that's a good idea I think.” Brenda was trying not to show her excitement.  
“Great.” Sharon said suddenly awkwardly. “Umm, can you give me your number? It would be harder for you to call embassy I think.” She winked to Brenda. Redhead didn't know what surprised her more, the wink or that she almost said the embassy number was the first thing she had to learned to come to Russia.  
Because Brenda didn't remember her number she went to Donald and asked for it. Also, using the situation she said she was going home. She gave her number to Sharon and said goodbye to the other woman. Donald called her taxi and within twenty minutes she was in her new small flat. Two rooms (bedroom and one room combined with kitchen) and bathroom. Nothing was unpacked, she didn't lie abut that, she come yesterday and spanned whole those time with Donald teaching her totally everything, moving around the city, telling her where to do shopping, how to behave around the people, what should she answer about herself, which questions answer and which avoid, he was asking her questions about her faked life and they ended on the code to communicate only between them. Donald was her mentor, the only person here for her, he was in his fifties and pretended to be eccentric philanthropist form US.

* * *

Brenda looked at the mirror. She saw tired woman in black, well fitted, knee-long and low cut dress with white straps on the sides. That made her even more slim than she was. Her hair was short, till the shoulders maybe, was curling and Brenda still couldn’t use to the red colour. She preferred her natural blonde but that woman whose name Brenda didn't remember suggested she should have red hair. And she painted them, now _Alice Foley_ , in the age of 22, was ready do to absolutely everything for the CIA, colouring hair was a small sacrifice.


	2. Chapter 2

Sharon didn't call the next day, but she called day after and the other day too, later almost every day. Firstly Sharon really showed her town, mostly the same places Donald showed her before, but Brenda didn't mind. They had great time together, Brenda had to admit. Sharon was a good companion, better than redhead supposed first. Later their meetings become more private, they just met to talk. Sharon told her how lonely she felt at the beginning, there was nobody even close her age in Moscow She was just the wife of husband.  
She studied law but never had an application because she met Jack. He had an offer to be an ambassador in Brazil and took the opportunity. They went there for four years. Brenda tried her best not to show she had already known all that history. She was given Sharon's act when Donald realized they become closer. Having somebody in the embassy was a thing for CIA. It was in Brenda's hands not to destroy this. This become her first case in Russia – to invigilate ambassador.  
Brenda had no intention to destroy this close relationship between the two of them. She learned about Sharon things which weren't in her acts. Like how much she liked the time in Brazil, her favourite colour or the name of dog she had as a kid. Sharon liked talking about Brazil, about people who lived there. She missed her friends. And here in Moscow even after one and a half year everyone was offish.  
Finally she confessed that until Brenda she had no one in Russia. So in the end of the march Brenda had to admit she had first real friend in her life. So she was really nervous when she was still doing research on embassy. Each time she was sneaking in the office and looking through the documents (pretending to be in toilet) her heart was beating fast not only because of what she was doing. She was more afraid she would finally find something. But nothing like that happened. Ambassador was clean as a whistle and his wife too (which was bigger relief for Brenda). The young CIA agent had other suspicion hough considering her new friend, that's why she and Donald decided to continue her 'mission' in embassy.

Brenda never had many friends, maybe a few in primary school. But the older and older she become she realized that most of the people were just boring. She could easily meet new people, that was never a problem but almost non of them was interested enough for Brenda to meet with him or her again for a longer time. So she went to collage with big expectations to meet intelligent and funny people.  
Oh, the biggest disappointment of her life. The same boring people like always... She found a group of 'collages' she was 'comfortable' with and dreamed only about going to the university. She hoped there would be her people... Economy, she wanted to study economy, she knew it for 5 years then. She was quite sure what she would like to do in life unlike most people in her age. And then, after first year in collage her live turned upside down. CIA contacted her, they found her because of her academic performance. Then a lot of tests (mostly mental but also physical), two year long training and her first mission. Brenda was well-aware they sent her like on a second training. She knew she was too young to be a part of real case but still she was excited about that. What is more she finally found smart and interesting people to be friends with, Sharon Matlock including.

She become convinced about their friendship when Sharon told her she was pregnant, third month. That was a secret, she didn't tell her husband yet. Brenda had some suspicions. She knew Sharon wanted to have children, because they talked about in earlier but here, she wasn't so happy telling this to Brenda.  
“I have many concerns.” she explained “Jack is not really into children. Of course he would love her... or him...” Sharon had no idea but she could tell she would have a girl. “but I can tell he won't be happy when I will tell him.”  
They were sitting on a very expensive couch in the ambassy and Brenda felt that urge to embrace other woman and tell her it would be ok and to kiss her... She chose only first two options. She put her hand around Sharon, stroking her back a little “You know, maybe he doesn't like children but it's different when it's your child, I'm sure he would be in love from the first sight.”  
“How do you know?” Brenda blushed a little “That's what my mother always tells me when I remind her I don't want to have children...”  
“You...” Sharon looked at her but Brenda didn't know that, her eyes stopped on brunette's lips, so beautiful, so soft, so close... she was waiting for other words to come from them but it didn't happen, so Brenda broke the moment “It's late, I have to go.”

She was really attractive to Sharon from the first meeting. Brenda wasn't stupid, of course she heard about lesbians but never considered herself as a one of them, her feelings for other woman made her nervous and exited both equally. And she could swear there were moments when she felt Sharon also had a thing for her... At least they were friends. No, Sharon wasn't her friend, she was a friend of Alice Foley... and it wouldn't be long...

* * *

They met the next day, the day when Sharon told her that yellow sky meant long heavy snowing. Brenda born in Atlanta was excited with snow first but after two weeks she hated the cold in Russia, boots covered with salt and cotes wet because of snow after only twenty-minutes long walk to the shop and back. So that day Brenda suggested they could meet in her flat.  
Now, they were drinking hot cacao and Sharon was talking about carnival in Brazil when someone knocked the door. Brenda looked through peephole. The man in blue coverall said he wanted to check electric meter. Brenda remembered the information about that on a front door of block but still she wanted to be cautious. She asked Sharon to go to the bedroom (Sharon didn't even say a word, just went there, which surprised Brenda a little) and herself she grabbed the gun from the chest of drawers. She entered the man to the flat and went with him to the main room when the meter was.  
It really looked like she was alone, one mug on the table, newspaper and a plate with cakes. The man noticed the numbers and leaving the flat he asked if Brenda was aware of electric prices increased. With perfect Russian Brenda grumbled about that (grumble – the Russian specialty) and locked the doors. As soon as it happened Sharon run to the window to look at him.  
“It sounds crazy but this man...” she turned to Brenda just in a moment when redhead was putting a gun to the drawer “You have a gun?!” she shouted  
Brenda raised her hands to show she didn't have it anymore. “I wasn't sure who was that man-”  
“Alice... what's going on here? That man was following me for two days- ”  
“Oh, you noticed that too.” Brenda was surprised.  
“Shit, I'm not stupid!” Sharon was pissed now.  
“Of course you're not, you took your cap to the room.” Brenda smiled but she was shaking inside she had no fucking idea how to proceed now. “Ok, before I explain this to you, I have to make a call.” she looked at the phone in the room “but not from here” she turned back to Sharon “Please, trust me, I'll be in a minute, just one call.” she need to contact Donald as soon as possible.  
“Ok...” Sharon answered very carefully “but then-”  
“Then I answer you every question.” though Brenda wasn't sure of that. Brenda knew that reviling she was CIA meant the end of case.  
“Do I have to remind you not to open the door for ANYONE? I have my keys.” and she emerged from the flat.  
Other phone meant one of her neighbour's, fortunately man in a flat under her's was very kind and understood cute neighbour in need. The conversation took maybe two minutes and for third party was totally common conversation between a couple who arrange a date. Brenda come back to the flat and found Sharon in front of the drawer with the gun.  
“It's real” Brenda stated and Sharon jumped hearing her voice. “and you're in danger that's why I have it.”  
Then Sharon turned amused. Older woman wasn't really panicked she was sure that was some stupid joke.  
Brenda took a deep breath “Sharon do you have the slightest idea what is happening now in Eastern Europe?”  
Sharon made a big eyes, she was baffled “No, why should I know?”  
“Look, all the communistic countries wants to separate form Russia these days, there were strikes and riots before, all nipped in the bud... but now in Poland there is a real revolution.” Brenda took a breath “Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia are probably next. I don't want to use big words here, but it's something huge. Who knows if that's not the beginning of the third world war...”  
“And what all of this have anything with me?” Sharon was still processing all the information she just received.  
“Propaganda, to divert public attention, there is assassination planed and directed against you...”  
“It's not true.” Sharon shook her head ready to leave the flat as soon as possible. Brenda grabbed her hand stopping older woman.  
“Let me show you something.” Brenda pulled Sharon to the kitchen and opened oven. Brunette's eyes become even bigger than before. It wasn't normal oven, hell no! Inside there was safe installed. Brenda pulled out two envelops. She handed them to older woman. The first one contained photos only and one sheet of paper looked like police acts. Sharon recognized Jekatierina – maid who worked in embassy and didn't show up at work that day. On the photos she was always with the same man though they didn't seem close.  
“She has been giving him information about you.” Brenda said slowly to be sure Sharon understood her correctly.  
“This is what we found with her yesterday.” Redhead slipped her the only sheet which was in envelop. That was copy of exactly everything Sharon was doing during last weekend when she was in embassy. Exact time of her wake up, what she had for breakfast and other meals eaten there, how long lasted her calls and many, many others, even the exact time of going to bathroom. All of these was written with very small letters, just to include everything on one paper.  
“No... no...” Sharon was repeating more to herself then to her companion. That was impossibly, it couldn't happen to her, especially when she was pregnant now.  
“The man is from KGB Sharon.” Brenda covert older woman's hand with hers. But Sharon was only shaking head with disbelief.  
“You need to leave the country immediately, Sharon. It's too dangerous to stay here, now, when you know. You were supposed to receive letter informing about your aunt death and went to her funeral.” Finally Sharon looked up at redhead.  
“Your aunt is ok.” Brenda assured Sharon. “But now you are coming back to America with new identity.” Brenda grabbed second envelop and draw out five passports. She looked through them and chose one which she handed Sharon.  
“Here is brand new you.” Passport stated that her new name is “Sharon Raydor”. _Couldn't they come up with something better?_ She though to herself but didn't comment it loudly. Instead she reached for other passports. There was one of Jack Raydor and three with redhead photo and different names under it: Olga Fatiejewa, Senna Ušić and Megan Hodge  
Sharon wondered if the last one was young woman's real name but she knew she wouldn't receive an answer even if she asked. She looked back at her passport.  
“You didn't change my name.” Sharon stated rationally.  
“Believe me, it takes more than one night the get used to and react properly to new name.”  
“One night?!”  
Brenda nodded “I talked to Donald, your flight is tomorrow at 9 am.” Brenda was calm as if she was talking to Sharon about TV program.  
“What about Jack?”  
“We are still not sure-”  
Brenda was relived when she heard two phone calls and three just after them. Donald was waiting for them. Redhead promised to answer any feather question but in new location. They had to move, her flat wasn't save anymore.  
Few minutes after entering taxi Sharon took a look at driver “Donald?!”  
She couldn't believe she was doing this.

 

* * * 

“Can't sleep?” They were lying on mattress for almost hour. Not like they could to anything more. In the flat there was only one armchair, coffee table with phone on it and simple mattress for two on a floor. What she examined earlier in the kitchen were only products which couldn't go bed easily like different types of pastas, rice and food in cans. In the bathroom one set of bedding, three towels, two new teeth brushes, toothpaste and soap. Only necessary things.  
Although the light was off, it was quite light in the room. First of all, it was full moon and the second, street lamp was exactly in front of their window. That amount of light would bather her usually. Sharon prefered falling asleep in the silence and dark, but the hell, there were so many things running through her head now. The light was the last thing she was thinking of. They both knew it wasn't the light which disturbed their sleeping.  
Sharon didn't answer the question, instead she turned on the other side to face Brenda now. Redhead smiled to her and brunette couldn't help but smiled back.  
“Don't worry Sharon” Brenda whispered. “You are safe from now. If your husband is clean he will join you in America not long after you, if not... well then for sure he doesn't deserve you.” Brenda stroked brunette's soft hair. Sharon didn't even realized that younger woman's hand is on her. But then Brenda put a hand on brunette's cheek and swiped on it with her thumb. Sharon thirled for a moment but then, not thinking too much, she took soft hand with her and kissed it.  
“I… Ymm...” she wanted to say something but nothing crossed her mind. While she was looking at brown eyes she felt an urge to kiss the other woman. So many things happened today, her life is going to upside down... and she just needed to kiss redhead...  
Sharon moved above Brenda and met their lips together, quick kiss... “Thank...” and the second one “... you”.  
When she wanted to lie back she was grabbed in the waist. That was so unexpected that the older woman tottered, strong arms pulled her closer and their torses melted together fallowed by their lips. The kiss was slow and passionate. Not the one Sharon expected from the CIA agent. She really felt like she was kissing her long-time lover... and even more. Lips were softer than her husband, small hands were creasing her back not sure if they can slip under t-shirt. Sharon wanted nothing more than feel those hands on her skin. She pulled away giving Brenda the smile which she hoped was saying she wanted this too. Brunette repositioned herself so now she was kneeling on a mattress with sweet redhead between her legs. Older woman grabbed her t-shirt and took it off fast.  
What Sharon saw in redhead eyes was pure desire. She has never received such a look before, from any of her lovers. Not that there were many, her boyfriend from high school and her husband only. But even when she had her best lingerie, freshly shaved legs and flower lotion all over her body, she had never ever felt sexier than now in her cotton blue panties only.  
Brenda lifted herself to kiss Sharon again. Older woman took that time to remove Brenda's shirt. And then she knew... woman's body was so perfect, every inch was perfect. In her eyes was probably the same look like the moment before in redhead's. Brenda was roaming her hand over brunette’s bare body with disorder and insecure moves, like if she wanted touch everywhere but she wasn't sure if she can.  
Sharon couldn't resist and palmed this sweet, perfect round breast under her and then pinched nipples which become hard under her fingers. Brenda moaned and Sharon looked at her because that was the first sound from the other woman and also the sexiest one Sharon heard. With older woman sight at her redhead blushed, no it wasn't the light blush of arousal, she was totally embarrassed of what she did. And then in one second of straight thinking Sharon thought that maybe redhead is virgin. _Was it possible?_ Sharon doubted, _she would tell something, wouldn't she?_  
Still wanting to encourage the younger woman Sharon whispered to her ear with her most seductive voice “You're so beautiful...” she lowered her hips to the others. “... and so sexy, you...” her voice broke because her wet centre met Brenda's tight and they both moaned with the feeling.  
Sharon slid (actually _slid_ ) down Brenda's leg dropping light kisses on her body until she grabbed redhead's hips and her lips stopped just above the edge of the other woman's grey panties. She looked up at her lover and questioningly grabbed its hem. Brenda raised her hips and Sharon thanked her with the most beautiful smile Brenda have ever seen.  
Brenda thought that brunette would come back to her but it didn't happen. Instead Sharon touched her swollen core for the first time circling her finger on it at looking at it with hungry eyes. As much as Brenda wanted to shut her eyes and enjoy the moment she wanted to see Sharon too. So she raised her head a little to have better look on the place between her tights. It turned out as a good decision because Sharon's next move made Brenda very uncomfortable. Sharon leaned more with her slightly open lips to meet Brenda's core...  
“No, no, no...” Brenda almost cried. She gulped “I... I don't like this...” Brenda lied. Sharon was looking at her more and more surprised but she said nothing, she sweetly moved up and kissed Brenda telling her silently she wouldn't do anything Brenda didn't want to. They were kissing, Brenda felt more confident in this, at least she kissed few people in her life before. Then she felt Sharon's core, still in her panties, meeting her's. “Oh, God...” Brenda squirmed and shout her eyes. Sharon kept rolling her hips and Brenda adjusted little to have better fraction.  
“Mmmm” the younger woman was moaning now.  
“Mmmm, indeed Alice.” Sharon have never thought fucking in panties would be so pleasurable. Brenda's eyes opened immediately she wanted to scream her name is Brenda, she wanted Sharon to say her real name in during sex but even if she had all the courage (and stupidity) to actually say it she had no time for that when a wave of strange pleasure, hit her. Like a wave of heat and cold at the same time, that was more than great, she felt kind of relieved then. She was still looking at Sharon above her with closed eyes, parted lips and still moving to reach her own orgasm. Orgasm... Brenda wasn't screaming like she overheard her brother talking with friend about sex and woman screaming in bed. _Was she supposed to? Did Sharon expect her to scream?_  
“Oh...” Sharon whispered and collapsed on Brenda.  
“That was beautiful, thank you” Brenda kissed Sharon's hair.  
“We hardly started my dear...” Sharon raised her head to look at Brenda with a grin on her face.

With new inflow of energy Sharon stood up from mattress, stand in the dark room and removed her only peace of underwear. Brenda couldn't help but noticed that other woman looked different from her in _that place_ , not better, not worse, just different.  
Sharon kneeled on the mattress. This redhead whose real name she didn't even knew, was her first woman, the only one towards she felt a desire or she could rather say lust. But she wasn't really familiar with lesbian sex. Considering her next move she saw younger woman kneeling in front of her. Small hands started simply creasing her collarbones, moved to her chest. With open palms redhead dragged few times on brunette’s nipples and moved lover and lover. Sharon was frozen when Brenda covered her core with right hand, the left one on her hip.  
_What was she thinking?! Touching other woman like this... Were did it came from?_ She had no fucking ( _fucking_ , what a perfect world for a situation) idea what she was doing but all the acts come to her naturally. Only now she had a problem. She was palming hot centre of Sharon and well...  
Feeling redhead's lack of experience Sharon brought her hand to younger woman's core too and pushed single finger inside her 'telling' her 'here'.  
Normally Brenda wouldn't have problem with receiving such a message and she would return the favour but she was focused on something else, especially when Sharon started moving this one finger in and out her. It didn't really hurt like Brenda heard and thought it would be. Her first time turned out to be very, oh so very pleasurable...  
“Wow” something strange started to happen with her, like if she lost control over her body. She was sucking Sharon's finger deep inside herself not even knowing this part of her body was capable to do such things. And suddenly familiar wave of cold and hot hit her but like one hundred times stronger than before.  
“Oh my..., fuck” when she calmed a little Brenda realized she was squeezing tight Sharon's hip and her ladies parts too... She lay older woman on her back and kissed her hard.  
Knowing more or less what to do now, Brenda finally plunged one finger in Sharon too. Their lips melted together when Brenda was moving inside Sharon.  
Then Sharon stopped the kiss “Add the second one.” she asked and Brenda did just that. That was incredible to be actually be in that woman. But what happened next was even better. Brenda witnessed Sharon's orgasm. Not to mention all this squirms, moans and hummed the other woman did but her gorgeous body arched in one moment, her head turned on a side and eyes shout tight. Then Sharon turned her head on the other side, her body relaxed and Brenda was finally able to withdraw her fingers. Brenda was hovering above Sharon until brunette opened eyes finally. She smiled seeing huge dark eyes. Redhead leaned over to kiss her and when they needed air Brenda lied herself next Sharon. They were like this in silence, both thinking about different things, Brenda was roaming her hand across older woman's body.  
“I can't believe there is little human inside you.” Brenda whispered caressing Sharon's very flat stomach.  
Sharon smiled, she wanted to ask her lover this one question but she knew how stupid it would sound, how desperate this would make her in redhead eyes Am I going to see you again? That was something they say in the movies, for teenagers, for god's sake! Instead of asking she decided to hold the woman beside her and kiss her as long as it was possible, even if that was only this one night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the last chapter of basic story. The fourth one is Epilog which has to wait a while to be uploaded, I'm still working on it

_LA, 2014_

Brenda was feeling documents when Sharon knocked at the door of her cabinet.  
“Come in.” blonde said not even looking who was coming to her. It was really late and all she wanted to do was to go home, take a quick shower and roll in her bed, nothing less, nothing more.  
“Chief, sorry to interrupt” Sharon started “and sorry for this.” she put on the table two more sheets of papers to fill.  
“Oh, no, no, no... I am not doing this today, it can wait for tomorrow.” Brenda shook her head and closed the pen in hand. She packed her belongings very fast, got up from chair and wanted to exit the room but brunette was still in there.  
“What else can I help you, Captain?” Brenda asked a little irritated Sharon didn't want to leave her room.  
“I have one question actually...” Sharon looked for pockets in her jacket but didn't find any. “It's not connected to work, just curiosity, but... have you ever been to the Moscow?” she knew the question was dump if Brenda wasn't there. Sharon really expected and really wanted to hear 'no' but instead Brenda's face turned in a panic.  
The longer Brenda wasn't answering the question the better Sharon knew what that meant. And Sharon wanted to slap the other woman in the face, she wanted to kiss her, she wanted to laugh and scream at one time. Instead she felt tears in the corner of her eyes and looked up to stop them from running down.  
The question shoot her straight in the heart. First she managed not to think about Sharon every day, that was a success after two years, then she managed to have fail marriage, remembering about mistakes from it she started relationship with Fritz. One could say idyll marriage until Sharon appeared in her life again destroying her second marriage. Brunette seemed not to recognize Brenda as Alice and Brenda herself was too weak and too heart-broken after a divorce (though the divorce was her fault) to make a first move toward Sharon. And then this question Brenda wasn't rally sure she wanted to hear or not.  
“I understand. Forget it.” As much as Sharon tried she couldn't hide her trembling voice.  
Brenda closed the door and her black bag hit the floor “Forget? Can you?” she asked with small voice.

 

* * *

“Have you ever tried to find me?” Of course Brenda tried, she knew Sharon had no clue to find her. All CIA acts were top secret, Sharon didn't even know her name, nothing.  
“When I left CIA I actually found you.” Brenda paused to look into Sharon's eye “ in LA, with Jack, two kids and dog running on a backyard.”  
“I never had a dog.” the anger surged in Sharon.  
“Look, I wasn't an angel in Washington, I had an affair, with Pope. I destroyed his marriage and I didn't want to do the same to you for the second time...”  
“You saved my life then and I cheated too...”  
“Shit Sharon, there was no place for me in your life!”  
“How can you possibly know? You thought I forgot about you? Alice... Brenda... whatever! I never forgot you! I was going crazy when you left. I woke up in empty bed and was crying till Donald come. He dragged me from the house and drove to the airport. I wasn't even nervous, to tell you the truth, I didn't mind if they kill me or put to the jail, I didn't care anything then and probably that's why they had no suspicious about me...” “Jesus... I loved you then so much...” It hurt, then, it hurt more than Brenda thought it would be.  
“I had to go, you know that, don't you?”  
Sharon nodded only.  
Sharon was pathetic, she remembered every single detail from the time spent with Alice, every word spoken, every gesture made. She lived with a hope to meet her one day again. She remembered the song which was played when Donald was driving her to the airport. They entered the car and _Is you love strong enough_ was played in radio.  
It was not strong enough. She was coming back to USA without Alice. And the next song couldn’t be worse at that time, the speaker very enthusiastically announced the new hit from world's record chart _The road to Hell by Chris Rea_.  
Donald turned the radio off.

Brenda noticed Sharon was deep in thought she didn’t interrupt till brunette's eyes met her again.  
“Sharon... I have a question too.” Something what was bothering her since she looked for Sharon “Emily's age doesn't fit in with...”  
“I lost my child... miscarriage, the doctor told me it was because of stress.”  
“I am so sorry...”  
“Brenda, I come over that thirty years ago, I don't want to talk about that.”  
Well, obviously it wasn't the reaction of somebody who get over but Brenda didn't want to be the one to scratch old wounds. “Twenty-five and I am so sorry I wasn't there for you.” They both knew if Brenda were there nothing like this have not happened. But it was past, there was no point to for 'ifs' and 'whats'. 

* * *

Sharon was a little nervous but there was no reason. Brenda assumed her about that. Where Sharon saw her chest treated with years of gravitation Brenda saw great, bigger then she remembered breast so great to squeeze and massage. Where Sharon saw wrinkled stomach she tried to hide, Brenda saw two children she wanted to meet sooner rather than later.  
Well, Brenda herself changed too, her skin not so firm, her body not so flexible, too much here and there and cellulite... How was it possible Sharon had non, null... zero of this? Her legs were so strong, so smooth, so slim and so long, Brenda would kill for them, she wanted to have such legs. Hell no! It's so much better to admire those legs in the bed, to know how they feel wrapped around her then possibility of imaginary Brenda standing in front of the mirror and admiring her own legs whole days. She smiled at the thought. 

* * *

“I thought you don't like oral.” Sharon raised her eyebrows with question.  
“Oh, many things have changed since then, for example I'm not a virgin any more...”  
“You were...” Sharon stopped to take a deep breath because Brenda's tongue met her clit. “I was your first? Really?” Sharon wasn't really sure if she understood Brenda correctly.  
Blonde only nodded. “Why didn't you say it before?” Sharon was really curious. She remembered her first time, telling Tom and his real proud to be her first one.  
“That was time when it was hard for me to admit I didn't know things.” simply explained and continued “And I couldn’t be more lucky to be with you, anybody else, for the first time, though you set the bar high.” saying this blonde’s fingers met Sharon's sticky centre  
"I like your way to say _thank you_.”


	4. Epilog

The day was beautiful. It wasn't too hot like two day ago and not too windy like yesterday.  
It was just perfect day. 

During last week they visited all nearby towns (which Brenda wanted) and islands (which Sharon wanted _'There are peacock Brenda!.'_ ). Yesterday they hiked up the mountain above the old city to stay there until sun disappeared completely in the water. That was probably the most beautiful sunset on the world and not only Brenda and Sharon claimed that, but large group of people around them too. Unfortunately.  
Now, they had two days for doing sweet nothing.

The day started perfectly. Morning session of love making which they both still felt all over their bodies, lazy breakfast on veranda with the sight on a sea and then finding perfect place for Brenda's torture. Because sweet nothing was sweet torture for Brenda, but really it was small sacrifice for those who you love.  
As always there were many people moving around the town and even more swimming and sunbathing. But following local people Sharon and Brenda discovered a place which was occupied only occasionally... by nuns.

It was one of those small beaches. Well, beaches in that town meant a peace of hard rock were only few people can settle but they didn't mind. The advantage of the size was that they were alone. They come there just in time when all three woman in white habits were heading from the beach.  
Finally only two of them, hidden in a small space between rocks.  
Sharon was reading _The Bell Jar_ lying on her stomach and exposing her back to the sun. Brenda just beside brunette but facing the sun.  
Younger woman gasped, she didn't like sunbathing not to mention her skin wasn't really made for these.  
Blonde got up to her knees and removed sunglasses putting them on a towel.  
“I'm going to swim.”  
“Yhym” was only response she got from the brunette deeply taken with the book.

 

It wasn't long till Sharon felt cold hand touching her tights and some water dropping on her skin.  
“I think I need to applicate more sun cream on you sweetheart.” Brenda poured to her ear. Blonde grabbed cream and rubbed it in her hands before starting creasing it over older woman's body starting with her calfs.  
That felt more than good. Sharon marked a book and put it away. She rested forehead on her forearms and relaxed to Brenda's massage. Blonde expertly moved higher and higher.  
“Mmm... I love you.” Sharon mumbled.  
“You know... I can show you how much I love you in our apartment...” Brenda teased. Sharon rolled her closed eyes.  
“I know, I know.” Brenda gave up. “You are rolling eyes now because you didn't come here to stay in the apartment room. I get it.”. Blonde made Sharon to turn to her and kissed her sweetly which Sharon approved with hum.  
For many reasons it was too hot for blonde, she needed to get back to water.

Sharon returned to her book which suddenly wasn't so interesting as before. She couldn't believe she had Brenda beside her. She loved and she knew she was loved back which happened rarely in her life... if ever. Starring at the page but not rally reading them she pondered. Many times before she tried to imagine her life with Brenda. Like if they come from Russia and start new life together.  
She couldn't, every time her imagination stopped at the moment when their daughter (yes, she would be their daughter, whatever people would say) come to the world and then nothing...  
Mentally she shook herself. They just were meant to be here and now no there and then. And that was more she could ever ask for. 

“Sharon Matlock you changed nothing.” strong male vice come up from her left.

Brenda stopped swimming when she noticed old man dressed in airy beige pants and light shirt. He had cane and straw hat. The man was walking down the stars very carefully step by step. Easy to say it was difficult for him but he was determined to get down. When he finally reached the rock where brunette was lying he stopped and observed her for a while. Brenda moved closer to them when she saw a smile on his face. He said something she couldn't hear and Sharon raised her head and looked at stranger. They were staring at each others for a moment till Sharon got up and taking only one step she embraced man tightly. His free hand landed on brunette's back and Brenda felt a small wave of jealous. With few quick leaps Brenda emerged from the water. Man's face was buried behind Sharon's hair and under the hat but he raised head to look at Brenda.  
Blonde smiled widely and the man pulled from Sharon to greet blonde.

“How did you find us?” Brenda asked. He looked at her just in the same way like Clay looked at her when she was little girl and did or say something stupid.  
“Do you think you can hide away from an old CIA man?”  
Brenda only smirked.  
“I heard some rumours” Donald continued “Couldn't resist to check them personally.” he looked between two women. Sharon embraced Brenda in her waist and moved closer to blonde. No space for any doubts left. He smiled “Finally I can finish the story I'm telling my recruits each year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They were in Croatia if you wonder.  
> Thanks for reading ;)


End file.
